Ring Lardner

Joplin Globe/October 22, 1922

To the editor: A few wks. ago the writer was prevailed on to give readers my hints and views in regards to the sport of fishing and what tackle to use for different members of the Finny tribe and where to find them and etc. and since writing same my mall has been swamped with letters from nimrods all over the country thanking me for the article and how It helped them and etc.

They have also been a swarm of letters from men and women of both sexs complaining that my advice and instructions was all confined to fishing in streams, lakes, and etc. and nothing in regards to deep sea fishing which of course is the grandest of all sports for folks that can afford same which these irated correspondents evidently felt like they could as they pointed out that it would not be no more than fair for me to do as much for them as I done for the small scale nimrods.

So it looks like I would better devote a few spicy paragraphs to the sport of salt water fishing lest the followers of same accuses me of favorism.

Well friends salt water fishing depends on the seasons of the yr. in regards to different kinds of fish. Like for inst. salt mackerel runs in the fall and not in the winter and spring. Pickled eel can be caught in tropic waters in winter and goes to Newport for the summer. Tripe runs only dureing the winter months and walks the rest of the time. Cross-eyed hoke bites freely in the spring and then lives the balance of the yr. on their own fat.

So it will be seen that with all the different fish having different habits, why only a few gen. suggestions can be give in this limited space.

Probably the greatest fishing that can be enjoyed by residence of this continent is gullet fishing dureing the winter months off the coast of Iowa.

Liver-lipped gullets weighs from 1-2 to 2 ton and is one of the gamest of mollusks. They will bite freely at a electric iron or swinging doors but once they have struck, the game is only started and sometimes it is a full 6 months between the 1st. nibble and the time when Mr. Gullet lays on the bottom of your dingy.

I have even knew anglers who claim to of fought a yr. with a gullet and had their boat dragged by same from the Boone County fishing grounds to the Michigan fruit belt.

Chase Smike in a Taxi

These fishermens was probably working on the old theory that the way to land a fish this size was to the coast of Lafayette, Ind., and for 3 wks. neither of us had a nibble and was getting tired of each other when suddenly I seen my bobber move and felt the unmistakable nibble of a snub-nosed jonah.

Mollusk Is Bound For Omaha

By 4 o’clock the next morning they could be no question but what it was a fish and suspicion was turned into certainty when the mollusk’s features appeared on the surface of the water bound for Omaha.

The chase of the next 10 days would take the pen of a Jack Dempsey to describe it. The jonah had reservations on the St. Paul, but a friendly porter put me up in the washroom of the next car.

The final battle in the yards of Omaha defys description. Sufficient to say that the little woman invited our friends the next week-end to a snub-nosed jonah roust.

For winter salt water fishing there is nothing so savory and full of fight as the pigeon-toed wham. These little fellows is found off the coast of Little Rock and will bite at live bait only.

A friend of mine named Orville Chow found out this fact by a queer accident. He was out boating one day with his wife on the smooth waters of the Yazoo when she suddenly fainted from something she had eat.

Orville promptly throwed her overboard forgetting that he had tied a rope around her neck earlier in the day. In an instant he felt a strike and hailing in the rope, landed a 1200 lb. pigeon-toed wham which was clinging to the madam’s wrist watch.

Naturally my friend stayed in the vicinity for several days and landed all told a 1 doz. wham using the Mrs. as bait. RING W. LARDNER