Ring Lardner

Lima Gazette/May 11, 1924

To the editor: For the fear the regular reporters did not pay enough tension to the story I will say a few words in regards to the bobbed hair bandit and spouse who have decided to give up their apt. in Brooklyn and live out of town for a wile. Might state at this junction that the lady in the case is going to prison of her own free will because they ain’t a doubt in the world that she would of been acquitted had she of left the case come to trial. In fact it was such a cinch that 1/2 the lawyers in Brooklyn tried to come to her defense without no invitation knowing they couldn’t loose and it meant a lot of publicity and maybe she would be generous enough to give them 10 percent of the million dollar picture contract which was bound to follow her acquittal.

Frailties of the Law

All the lawyers had to do to get her off free was to first see that she really got her hair bobbed which it turns out it was no such a thing and then chose a jury made up of single men mixed with bobbed hair women, either that or left her hair unbobbed like it was and insisted on a jury of married men and the minute her hair was long they would of said she must be O.K. after all and voted not guilty without listening to the testimony.

But for some reason another the little gal put in a plea of guilty and the court can’t very well leave her off with a good scolding so we will half to worry along without her but after the exhibition she give you can bet it will only be a short wile till they’s at lease a ½ dozen other little sweeties doing her stuff and when they get caught it is to be hoped for the sake of their common sense that they will insist on a trial by a jury of their peers if any.

I ain’t got not facts or figures in front of me but as near as l can remember this bride and groom pulled off about 20 to 30 jobs and got away with about $1600.00 which ain’t so good. They only took a shot at one bird but didn’t hit him square which Is lucky or unlucky as the case may be. Like for inst. if they had of killed him the next thing was who fired the shot. If it was the gal it didn’t mean nothing neither way but if it was the boy he would of finished his career in a arm chair upholstered with volts. Which I might say a few words here in regards to the penalties for shooting in N Y state that is as far as the male sex is concerned.

If you get mad or scared and kill somebody they send you to the chair but If you miss them you just bet a prison sentence. In the first case the theory is that you are too dangerous to let live whereas the fact is that you are perfectly satisfied with killing one guy and wouldn’t try to kill no more even if you had a chance. In the second case you was trying just as hard and all that stopped you from success was lack of practice or maybe a high wind and it is a cinch that you are ashamed of the effort and a soon as they leave you out of prison you will try again with more rehearsals.

Gets Big Ovation

However a person could write several books on the murder situation in the various states like for inst. the penalty in Illinois for males is hanging wile females made to give up bridge and mah jongg for one week. In New Jersey the man Is fined $3500 to $10000 and the woman is given the keys to the city. In some parts of California a killing by a member of either sex Is just frowned on.

But what I was talking about the bobbed hair gal and her husband. One of the reasons they give for robbing people was on acct. of expecting a family and a certain well known physician in N Y made the statement that people in this situation was hardly responsible for what they done which if true it looks to me like instead of it being vs the law to sell books on birth control it ought to be vs the law not to.

The less prospective parents they allow to run around shooting up the town, why so much the better.

Well anyway, after the couple got scared and run away and got caught what happened? Why instead of avoiding crowds and a scene and etc. like the police aimed they wanted to do and which they certainly could of, why they tell the whole world the number and name of the train an’ what time it leaves Jacksonville and what time it gets to N. Y. and the stations is crowded all the way along the route by people mostly gals that wants to see the heroine.

And the N Y newspapers sends their best lady and gent reporters to board the train at Washington and Richmond and points south so as to get the best interview and some of the stories written just rings your heart. And the Penn station at N Y is so crowded with photographers and hero worshippers that the detectives can’t hardly get the couple out. Everywheres the little gal Is greeted with smiles and murmurs of approval and the only wonder is that some of her admirers did not rush up and kiss her.

As I says at first she is going to prison of her own free will. If she had a mind to stay out, why with her start she could make a bbl. of money without the use of no fire arms. And sometimes It don’t hardly seem fair that a person like I has to set here and sweat to earn a honest liveing just because I was born homely the wrong sex and not in Brooklyn.