Ring Lardner

Chicago Tribune/October 10, 1913

“Mr. Wake” Gives Details as to Cause of Ping’s Misjudgment of Fly Ball.

GLEASON ALSO FINDS OUT.

BY R. W.LARDNER.

Twenty-nine thousand three hundred and sixty-eight persons, not including ball players, umpires, bat boys, club owners, reporters, and experts, saw Ping Bodie misjudge Archer’s fly ball with two Cubs on and two out in the fourth inning. Only a few heard the conversation between Ping and William Gleason when, at the end of the session, they met in front of the Sox bench. From this conversation, which we print below, one may learn just what was the cause of Ping’s disastrous misjudgment.

Gleason—What was the matter?

Ping—What d’ya mean the matter?

Gleason—You know what I mean the matter.

Ping—What d’ya mean?

Gleason—What was the matter with that fly ball?

Ping—Archer’s fly ball?

Gleason—Yes. Archer’s fly ball.

Ping—What about it?

Gleason—Yes, what about it?

Ping—Well, I didn’t get it.

Gleason—Why didn’t you get it?

Ping—I didn’t see it.

Gleason—Why didn’t you see it?

Ping—I couldn’t see it.

Gleason—Why couldn’t you see it?

Ping—The grand stand’s too high.

Gleason—Grand stand’s fault, was it?

Ping—Yes.

Gleason—Don’t pull that on me. Now, what was the trouble?

Ping—The sun was in my eyes.

Gleason—The sun?

Ping—Yes, the sun.

Gleason—You’re sure it was the sun?

Ping—The wind blew it over my head.

Gleason—O, it was the wind, was it?

Ping—Yes, the wind.

Gleason—What was the matter?

Ping—Honest,Bill it’s awful dark out there. You can’t see a thing.

Gleason—Too dark. is it?

Ping—Yah, too dark.

Gleason—Get in on the bench. you –. You misjudged that ball, didn’t you?

Ping—Yes, I guess I misjudged it.

Gleason—All right; you misjudged it.

If one keeps his ears open he may hear many an original remark in a big baseball crowd. A few yards from us in the upper deck yesterday sat a noisy florid faced individual who, we figured, would bear watching and listening to. It was a cinch that before the battle had progressed very far he would pull something rich. At least, that was our judgment, and we had only to wait until the second inning for vindication.

Chappell had reached first base, and, as is usually the case when any one gets on, the pitcher and third baseman had to talk it over. Zimmy said something to Vaughn, and Jim went over toward him so that the conversation might be carried on in low tones and not heard in the Loop district. The game was delayed “while the pair conversed. It was delayed too long to suit the florid individual. He stood up on his hind legs.

“Hire a hall!” he yelled.

We beat all our former records from the ball park to the elevated station after the game, but the train didn’t start downtown until it was well filled with other bugs. Most of them had something to say and said it:

“Wyinell didn’t he let Scott pitch?”

“Benz done all right. Wot kick you got comin’?”

“Sure, Benz done all right, but wot about Sickety?”

“Well, he’d oughtn’ta let him pitch.”

“That’s wot I ast you, why didn’t he let Scott pitch?”

“He’s savin’ Scott for tomorrow.”

“You’re nuts. Walsh’ll pitch tomorrow.”

“You’re the one that’s nuts. Walsh ain’t goin’ to pitch at all. He’ss all in.”

“Who told you he was all in?”

“I seen it in the papers.”

“You believe that dope and you’ll go nuts. Them reporters is all crazy.”

“That was some game.”

“You’re right, it was some game.”

“It was the best game I ever see.”

“O, I’ve saw better ones.”

“But I never seen a more excitin’ one.”

“I have. I go out to all the games.”

“I don’t go to the south side very often. I like the west side.”

“Why?”

“O, I don’t know. There’s more life to the games over there.”

“More life? How can there be more life? The American league has got the National skinned forty ways.”

“I can’t see it.”

“Well, look what the Ath-a-letics done today.”

“Look what the Giants done yesterday.”

“It took ’em a long time to do it. And it took the Cubs a long time today.”

“Don’t make no difference how long it takes just so’s they do it.”

“It’ll takeemadamlongwile to beat the Sox.”

“Yes. and it’ll take the Sox a long while to win the pennant.”

“I ain’t talkin’ about no pennants.”

“What ARE you talkin’ about?”

That’s what we wanted to know, but we didn’t learn.

“Well, that was a great game, wasn’t it?”

“It sure was.”

“I don’t see many games, but I’d like to.”

“I’d see more if I had the time.”

“That’s the trouble with me. I don’t have the time.”

“Neither do I. I haven’t got time to get out to many games.”

“Neither have I.”

“I do like a good ball game, though.”

“So do I. Always have.”

“I have, too. I’ve always been a great lover of the game. It’s a clean sport. I used to play it myself, years ago.”

“I never played much, but I’ve always followed it pretty close.”

“Yessir, I used to play, but it was a good many years ago.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes, but it was years ago. I wasn’t a professional or anything like that. Just played for the fun of it.”

“I’d rather see a game than play.”

“Oh, I don’t know. It’s great exercise. I remember I used to—”

“Madison and Wabash.”